The recent disclosures of sexual abuse perpetrated by labor organizer Cesar Chavez is a shock to many, but also not a foreign concept to us at SARCC.
Cesar Chavez is one of the most well known labor and civil rights leaders in the United States. Born in Arizona to a Mexican-American family, he fought for farm worker rights by organizing strikes in California to encourage fair wages and better working conditions. He admired Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for their non-violent tactics of protesting.
And according to recent reports, he sexually abused others–including those in the labor rights movement.
Can you still admire Cesar Chavez’s ability to revolutionize workers’ rights using non-violence while knowing he was violent towards women?
I hear this struggle from many who are directly or indirectly conflicted with admiring some traits of a person while denouncing other behaviors. Whether it’s a celebrity or a family member, it is natural for people to feel conflicted, shameful, guilty, dirty, or wrong to admire the achievements of people who have helped people, but also hurt people.
I have had many clients over the years who have struggled with loving someone who hurt them. It may sound strange to someone on the outside, but it is normal to have an attachment to someone who has hurt us, because those people have also possibly loved us. Many survivors struggle with finding the balance of acknowledging pain but still caring about this person. (Important note: it’s also okay to feel completely not invested in someone who hurt us, too!) Often this conflict of loving the person but hating the abuse is what keeps people in silence for so many years.
Many survivors ask me, “Is it okay?”
“Is it okay that I feel like this?
“Is it okay that I set this boundary?”
“Is it okay that I don’t want to report this?”
“Is it okay that I care about them?”
I initially heard these contemplations as wanting permission, but I have realized over time that they are validation seeking questions. Validation is a bullhorn to amplify our whispers.
“I feel like this. Is that okay?”
“I set this boundary. Is that okay?”
“I don’t want to report this. Is that okay?”
“I care about them. Is that okay?”
Balancing these mixed feelings is an individual decision, just as it is a decision for survivors. Let this be a reminder to you that your internal bullhorn is your voice of validation for those confused whispers.
Me personally? I acknowledge the strides Cesar Chavez made for rights movements, but I also denounce his predatory behaviors. I will made a pact to myself to learn more about other labor leaders, such as Dolores Huerta, and acknowledge her courage and strength not only in the labor movement, but also as a survivor of sexual violence.
This #Advocate Blog was written by Advocacy Coordinator Alicia Rathosky.
