Part 2 of the Peace on Earth, Peace Within Series
Last week, our Counselor Blog featured reflections on the power of action and healing in community. Today, we continue our December Peace on Earth Series with a reflection on the power of listening in making real, transformative change.
In our daily work with sexual assault and abuse survivors, we learn that true listening is a gift. We are not only talking about the power of active listening in counseling sessions or on the hotline. Though, truly, this is a powerful experience. When doing crisis and trauma related work, it can be easy to default to a checklist or safety plans that move step-by-step through a chaotic process toward some sort of order. However, when helpers spend too much time trying to direct the process and not enough time, listening to the actual needs and concerns of the survivor, they can miss the gift of true connection.
We are also referring to the transformative act of listening to yourself to learn about needs, hopes, and fears. Healing from sexual violence can be a challenge because it often starts with learning to reconnect with your body and healthy and safe ways. Noticing the ways that the senses can bring calm helps to build healing pathways in the brain. Listening to body clues, like clenched teeth, flushed feelings, or a jumpy feeling can help you begin to understand early signs of trauma response. These two types of internal “listening” can be used together to navigate trauma echos.
Listening is also a gift in relationships. Listening to understand rather than to respond transforms the conversation. This practice can be used, not only in sexual assault response work, but in every aspect of our lives. Whether you are trying to navigate a family dispute, figure out a falling out that you had with friends or loved ones, or simply preparing for a holiday table, with people who share different opinions, backgrounds, and experiences from you, take a moment for grounding yourself in the practice of active and reflective, listening as a strategy for building real understanding.
If at any point during this holiday season, you feel like you may need someone who can listen, know that our 24-hour hotline continues throughout evenings, weekends, and holidays. If you’re interested in simply beginning the process of exploring your own body clues, building, safe connections, or processing, challenging, relationships, know that you can also schedule to talk with someone in the office or virtually during the holiday season or after. Listening with survivors is one of the greatest gifts for our organization. It is the reason SARCC was founded in 1983 and it continues to be the cornerstone of what we do.
