Resource Of the Week: Consent – It’s Simple as Tea
This week, we’re taking it back to basics and chatting about one of our favorite subjects: Consent! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or learning for the first time, it’s always a good idea to refresh your understanding of consent. Remember, any sexual activity without mutual consent is sexual assault.
– Consent is all about open communication. Whether you’re hooking up for the first time or with a long-term partner, you should be able to talk about your wants, needs, and boundaries without feeling judged or pressured.
– Consent should be clear and enthusiastic! While many of us have heard the phrase “no means no”, we also like to remind folks that only “YES!!!” means yes! If the person seems hesitant or unsure, it’s time to step back and talk about what they are comfortable with.
– Consent should be specific and ongoing. Each time you engage in sexual activity with someone, you should be asking for consent, whether it’s the 1st or 100th time you’ve been with them! It’s also important to keep checking in throughout to make sure everyone is still feeling good and comfortable, especially if acts are changing or escalating (for example, removing clothes or introducing penetration).
– Consent should be freely coherently given. All partiesshould feel like they can say no at any time and be respected. If someone feels like they “have” to say yes, it isn’t freely given, and it isn’t consent. The person giving consent should also be fully aware of what they’re agreeing to—this can’t happen if they are intoxicated, passed out, or asleep.
– Consent can be fun and sexy! Some folks worry that asking for consent will interrupt sex or “make it awkward”. On the contrary, talking about your wants and needs can build intimacy and create a more satisfying experience for everyone! Here are a few phrases to get you started:
o “Would you like it if I ____?”
o “Can I kiss/touch you?”
o “Do you like when I _____?”
o “Does that still feel good?”
o “Do you want to keep going?”
If you have questions about consent, feel free to check out our resource of the week, head to https://pcar.org/consent, or reach out to SARCC by going to https://sarccheals.org/contact-us/.