A few years ago, I read a meme about saying, “It’s all about balance” when you don’t know what to say at a work meeting. I am pretty sure I got through a few years of SARCC meetings with this life hack. And as it’s been a bit of time since I wrote a SARCC blog, I figure I better utilize what worked for me in the past–
“It’s all about balance.”
Life is not an overly simplistic black and white production, but sometimes when we are feeling a certain way, going back to basic check-ins can be helpful. And often that check in means exploring the opposite of how we feel for possible solutions.
Anybody who has ever babysat knows that when babies are hungry, they fuss and cry. How do you solve that fussing? You feed the baby.
As kids, if we said “I’m bored”, our loved ones would tell us to find something to do.
As adults, if we are tired, we should rest.
At SARCC, we hear stories every day from survivors of violence who have so many feelings about an experience they should not have had to deal with, and yet they call our hotline and show up at our offices and log into telehealth appointments to ease some of that confusion–with knowledge, education, advocacy, and support.
When my clients feel powerless, what helps them? Navigating their personal feelings to find where there is control in their lives. For some survivors, this may mean reporting what happened or even just acknowledging that they can help choose the path of their healing.
Trauma isolates people. It makes us feel like nobody can relate to how we feel and who we are. What can combat that? Connection.
Feeling silenced? Speak up.
Feeling ashamed? Then what are you proud of?
Obviously, life is not so easily dealt with in this way. We are complex creatures with complex feelings in a complex environment. If we are depressed, telling ourselves to just snap out of it is not only unhelpful, but can be detrimental and exhausting when we can’t shake our sadness by watching a funny movie. However, a simple check in and countering it with an opposite force is sometimes a good start to feeling like we are actually doing something.
Creation is the opposite of destruction. If it feels like your world is crumbling, create something from the rubble and ashes.
Find that balance today, because it’s all about balance. It really is.
