Social media has been on fire this week after a Jane Doe lawsuit (an anonymously filed lawsuit) was filed against Cornell University and seven fraternity members who were involved in an alleged sexual assault in a campus fraternity.
We are not going to go into details about the assault; the information is public if you wish to explore it yourself. As an outsider, are you shocked by the Cornell case?
I am not.
Misogyny is a little pebble that rolls down the highest snowy mountain with snide remarks at the top. Someone can stop it, but they choose not to and just push that little snowball down the hill a little harder. It rolls down and picks up speed with phrases like, “Boys will be boys” or “He is teasing you because he likes you.” It adds layers and dimensions with every dumb blonde joke and remark about oversexualizing young girls. At each layer, somebody can stop it, but they choose not to. Here comes the crude nicknames. Here is a layer of being unable to keep your hands to yourself. It grows larger and faster with each new layer of controlling words and body language and bounces in a new direction with each jagged cliff.
And then the snowball stops.
It does not stop because somebody stops it.
It stops because that snowball breaks apart.
The avalanche is not over.
It is just starting
Now there is snow all over. There’s a whiteout. You can’t see. You can’t breathe. Every breath you take is filled with jagged snowflakes and painful words, and you cannot escape the idea that this little snowball passed by over 50 people who knew how to stop it but chose not to. Some looked away, some said the next person would do something, some added to the snowball. But nobody said, “This is a really bad storm, I need to do something.”
Jane Doe, we believe you. And you too, Jane Doe. We believe all the Jane Does and the John Does and the Chris Does. We believe the harm caused by the ones who rolled the snowball down the hill and the harm caused from those who watched the snowball.
Decide which behaviors you want to make a stand against. Decide which behaviors you want your children to learn. And to everyone, but especially men–Decide when you want to stop the snowball.
We are waiting. Any survivor of sexual assault, abuse, harassment, trafficking, and rape has a right to no-cost supportive services through a local rape crisis center. Ready to connect with an advocate, explore options, and have a partner in your healing journey? Contact our hotline at 570-628-2965 or 717-272-5308
